


the incident™

by sukker_sugar



Series: mlp friendship is fuck [3]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Canon Typical Swearing, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Please Forgive me, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, no beta we die like ben, the author needs so much sleep after this its not even funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:21:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29213340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sukker_sugar/pseuds/sukker_sugar
Summary: “Do you hear that?” Diego asked Vanya, leaning his head over the back of the sofa in an attempt to see what was going on. She sighed.“I think Klaus and Ben are arguing about the microwaved cereal incident again.” she said, looking up and also looking into the kitchen. A look that said “disappointed, but not surprised” adorned her face.“I’m sorry. Thewhat.”--Diego learns about another incident™.
Series: mlp friendship is fuck [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2155377
Comments: 2
Kudos: 31





	the incident™

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theladyfae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theladyfae/gifts).



> hello and welcome back to another crackfic based off of [fae](https://theladyfae.tumblr.com/) and i's conversations 
> 
> ~~i could probably make that a series~~

Diego wandered down the stairs and down the hall, plopping himself down on a couch. Vanya sat across from him in an armchair, scrolling on her phone. There was noise from the kitchen just a room over. 

“Do you hear that?” Diego asked Vanya, leaning his head over the back of the sofa in an attempt to see what was going on. She sighed.

“I think Klaus and Ben are arguing about the microwaved cereal incident again.” she said, looking up and also looking into the kitchen. A look that said “disappointed, but not surprised” adorned her face. 

“I’m sorry. The  _ what.” _ Diego said, snapping his head back to look at Vanya. His eye was almost twitching - he sure wasn’t expecting to hear about any prophetic incidents that day, lest of all one that involved microwaved fucking cereal. 

“Yeah, I mean, it was kind of a mess.” Allison chimed in from the archway between the kitchen and lounge room, inspecting her nail. 

“Wait - but he has  _ got _ to know it’s so much easier to just heat up the milk first, and  _ then _ put it in, not vice versa. Right?” Diego questioned almost frantically, looking around the room to his sisters. At the same time, Luther walked in and sat down on the other side of the couch, as well as Five blinking in and promptly sitting on the back of Vanya’s chair. There was a certain type of silence that was barely ever heard in that house. 

“Who’s gonna tell him?” Luther asked after a moment of silence, making Vanya snort. Five blinked over to him and smacked his arm, whispering something like  _ “Don’t you dare,”  _ before blinking back. 

“Tell me what, exactly?” Diego asked hesitantly, as Klaus walked in, seemingly unbothered by everything happening around him, and what everyone else presumed was Ben yelling at him. 

There was a sudden glow next to Klaus, and Ben suddenly showed up next to Klaus, and sure enough, he was yelling at Klaus. Noticing his corporeal form, he looked at Diego straight in the eyes and yelled, “HE LITERALLY MICROWAVED DRIED CEREAL ONCE AND SAID IT WAS FOR ME.” 

“Hey, but you still would’ve liked it.” Klaus returned easily, making Ben’s eye twitch. 

“You know, he may have a point.” Vanya quietly added, looking back to her phone. 

“NO HE-” Ben started, getting cut off by disappearing again. 

“Famous last words.” Five said, almost solemnly, before blinking to the kitchen. 

* * *

“Is he ever going to stop?” Allison questioned, looking to the corner with concern. Diego had been rocking back and forth with his knees pulled to his chest muttering about the microwaved cereal for about two hours. 

“I think it’s best to just, uh, give him some space. It's understandable, really.” Luther replied from the couch. 

“He’s gonna be like that for a bit.” Five said, passing through the room to get to the stairs. 

“Yeah, fair, I guess.” she said, heading back to the kitchen to start on dinner. “If you weren’t there, it could definitely leave a scar just hearing about it.” 

“It left an unhealed scar by  _ witnessing _ it, honestly.” Vanya chimed in. 

“Again, fair.” Allison said, sighing a bit and opening the fridge, pulling out different food and setting them on the counter. 

Almost all went back to normal after the conversation, except for Diego’s stifled and confused sobs from the corner. 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr is sukker-sugar


End file.
